2012: A Retrospective

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Although I did not participate in the "One Word" blogger challenge to name 2012 at the year's beginning, if I were to name it now, I would choose "Change," or perhaps "Endurance." A year ago, it seemed I had turned a corner toward health. Stamina was growing, and portions of many days were pain-free for the first time in 18 months. On December 31, 2011, we toasted our coffee with the words, "So long, 2011. Don't let the door hit you on the way out." I really believed that 2012 meant recovery and renewed strength.

I was wrong.

Health concerns multiplied this year, and issues we thought were resolved flared up again and again. Every member of my immediate family has experienced at least one crisis. Most of the men in the family have changed jobs, some voluntarily and some not. Change and upheaval have marked every passing month.

And yet, "In every change, He faithful will remain. Be still, my soul." However hard things became, however unsettled, however fraught with anxiety, God remained faithful and will for 2013 as well. He was no less loving, no less near, no less kind in the trials than in the joys (and there were joys, too, especially new and deepened friendships).

What theme lies in store for 2013? I have no idea. "Whatever," maybe? I still want healing, recovery, rest, strength, more happy than sad, but 2013 is in God's hands and utterly veiled to me. I do pray that the afflictions of 2012 (and before) begin to look "less like scars, and more like character."

This year began with an excellent study of James, so perhaps it is fitting to conclude it with his words:

Consider it a great joy, my brothers [and sisters], whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing (James 1:2-4, HCSB).

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Let us give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His steadfast love endures forever (Ps. 136:1)!

I thank Him for His goodness in this past week:

one last batch of toffee made for family
strength to enjoy a long, full day with my immediate family and energetic youngest nephews
Christmas gifts given and received
2 desserts at our Christmas Eve celebration, thanks to parents and Mezzo
surprise packages in the mail from blogging friends
Christmas day at home in new pajamas and slippers

wet, white, winged Christmas watching the rain and snow fall and birds out in the midst of it all

new glasses on order
visit with my Nonni
...and an unexpected bonus visit from my uncle and his family, who live near her
tea every morning in Amore's gift of new tea maker

more light rain today, much needed in our area

Also, I thank Him by faith for His faithful goodness and provision in the past year:
42 medical appointments (just mine, not counting Amore's and Ebony's)
5 new doctors (ditto)
multiple biopsies
1 procedure requiring general anesthetic
1 surgery
in which I fainted
1 round of physical therapy appointments
2 rounds of a walking cast, one on each foot
a year without a sinus infection
new rheumatologist with fresh ideas

one reading of the Old Testament
2 readings of the New Testament and Psalms (yes, I realize Psalms are in the Old Testament)
82 verses of Scripture hidden in my heart
4 ladies' Bible studies
2 virtual (online) retreats

8 or more trips to Fort Worth for family
friends, near and far
Amore's new job
my dad's retirement
my mom's 5 falls in 2 months did no lasting harm
Mezzo's recovery from car accident

an abundance of butterflies
and bluebonnets
and birds

one new scar
other people telling me how strong I am, when all I see in the mirror is weakness
Christ's power residing in me (2 Cor. 12:9-10)
the testing of my faith producing endurance
6,032 gifts counted

(Joy Dare #8547-8586)

sharing with Laura at The Wellspring and Ann at A Holy Experience

O Come, Let Us Adore Him

Behold, the Lamb of God:

illustrated by Abraham,

foretold by prophets,

born in a stable,

attended by shepherds.

examined and found faultless,

slain at Passover,

Sin-bearer for whomsoever will come and believe it,

risen from the dead,

Great Shepherd of His Sheep.

Let us worship Him this Christmas

as we shall someday before His throne in Heaven.

Blessed Christmas to you all!

Love,

Allen, christina, and Ebony Dawg

(John 1:29; Genesis 22; Isaiah 53; Luke 2; Matthew 27:24; Matthew 26:2; 1 Peter 2:24-25; John 20; Hebrews 13:20; Revelation 21:22-22:5)

The Promise of Christmas

My eyes long for your salvation

and for the fulfillment of your righteous promise. 

Psalm 119:123, ESV

On this side of eternity, Christmas is still a promise. Yes, the Savior has come, and with him peace on earth, but the story is not finished. Yes, there is peace in our hearts, but we long for peace in our world. 

Every Christmas is still a "turning of the page" until Jesus returns. Every December 25 marks another year that draws us closer to the fulfillment of the ages, that draws us closer to . . . home. 

When we realize that Jesus is the answer to our deepest longing, even Christmas longings, each Advent brings us closer to his glorious return to earth. When we see him as he is, King of kings and Lord of lords, that will be "Christmas" indeed! (Joni Eareckson Tada, "A Christmas Longing," in Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus)

 Reading through the Old Testament prophets, it has struck me how many of the prophecies of Christ's first coming rub punctuation with prophecies of His second coming. More than occasionally a comma or semicolon bears the weight of millennia of wars and rumors of wars, revivals and apostasies, megachurches and martyrs.

Here are just a few to illustrate:

• Christ has come. "For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us;/And the government will rest on His shoulders;/And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace" (Isaiah 9:6).
• Christ is coming. "There will be no end to the increase of His government or of peace,/On the throne of David and over His kingdom,/To establish it and uphold it with justice and righteousness/From then on and forevermore./The zeal of the LORD of hosts will accomplish this" (Isaiah 9:7).
• Christ has come. "But as for you, Bethlehem Ephrathah,/Too little to be amont the clans of Judah,/From you One will go forth for Me to be ruler in Israel./His goings forth are from long ago, From the days of eternity" (Micah 5:2).
• Christ is with us. "And He will arise and shepherd His flock/In the strength of the LORD,/In the majesty of the name of the LORD His God" (Micah 5:4a).
• Christ is coming. "...at that time He will be great to the ends of the earth./And this One will be our peace" (Micah 5:4b).
• Christ has come. "Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion! Shout in triumph, O daughter of Jerusalem! Behold, you king is coming to you;/He is just and endowed with salvation,/Humble, and mounted on a donkey,/Even on a cold, the foal of a donkey" (Zechariah 9:9).
• Christ is coming. "And I will cut off the chariot from Ephraim,/And the horse from Jerusalem;/And the bow of war will be cut off./And He will speak peace to the nations./And His dominion will be from sea to sea,/And from the River to the ends of the earth" (Zechariah 9:10).

The global longing for peace, for cessation of strife in the Middle East, for a safe place to nurture our children in the admonition of the Lord, for freedom to go take part in recreation or go to the market without fear for one's life... these are not new, twenty-first century concerns. They are as old as sin.

Because Christ has come, we can taste now a great degree of personal peace: peace with God, peace with self, and peace with neighbor. That desire for universal global peace is a good, God-given desire, and it's satisfaction also ultimately will come as a gift from God. Christ is coming, and He will be and bring the peace we seek so fervently. Come soon, Lord Jesus!

Joining the chorus of gratitude to the Father simply, today, thanking Him that

~Christ has come,

~Emmanuel, "God with us," is here,

~and Christ will come again.

Thanks be to God!

(from the gratitude journal, in the #8400s)

The Wiper of Our Tears

Christmas has a way of quickening any preexistent grief, and there certainly seems to be more than the usual amount of that (grief, that is) in our nation this year. If the holidays find you feeling sad, whether from one of the headline-news tragedies or some private sorrow known only to God and to yourself or even some short-lived disappointment, perhaps it will encourage you a mite to know that feeling sad when the rest of the world demands celebration makes you no less acceptable to God.

He does not add guilt to your burden, nor does He stand at a distance with His arms crossed and foot tapping in impatience, waiting for you to get over it and move on.

At ladies' Bible study this fall, I was the de facto keeper of the tissues. The curriculum touched a fair amount of tender spots among the group, and since I almost always have tissue with me, I would take out my travel pack and pass it down the table. When Allen catches me crying, he usually brings the tissue to me with a hug or hands on my shoulders.

One time, though, he cupped my face in one hand and wiped the tear trail away gently, so gently, with the side of his thumb. I have forgotten what made the tears well up that night, but I have not forgotten how that tender touch healed something more than just a tear on my cheek.

That's the kind of tenderness I think of when I read these Scripture passages:

And he will swallow up on this mountain
the covering that is cast over all peoples,
the veil that is spread over all nations.
He will swallow up death forever;
and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces,
and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth,
for the Lord has spoken.
It will be said on that day,
“Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us.
This is the Lord; we have waited for him;
let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.”
~Isaiah 25:7-9, ESV


For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their shepherd, and he will guide them to springs of living water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.
~Revelation 7:17, ESV


He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.
~Revelation 21:4, ESV

That God puts my tears in His bottle is a lovely, caring image, but it's so much more personal to me that He will wipe away our tears someday. Every tear, from all faces. If I were with you, crumble, I would certainly pass you a tissue; God is with you now, however, and He will do much better. May you be especially conscious of His nearness, whether you have a broken heart or not, heart today.

What else I'm holding in heart, hands, and home today:

~longing for the one we await, for that day when we say, "Behold, this is our God."

~reading that points toward that day, as I press on with the year's Bible schedule of readings with the last books of Old and New Testaments

~changing plans for Christmas Eve with family

~some new loose teas

~a new NSAID medication from my doctor, to test whether my blood pressure changes reflect a new sensitivity to the previous one

~lovely surprises for body, soul, and spirit in a Christmas package from a friend

~a glass cabinet door full of friends' faces and Christmas greetings

~a new fudge recipe that worked better than I imagined

~empty medicine bottles for a bit of tummy trouble Ebony had (inevitable when one persists in eating that which is not food)

~warm new socks in a sudden reversal of our unseasonably warm weather

~waiting with a friend for her post-cancer test results

~encouragement in my heart from my doctor

~appreciation for our faithful UPS delivery man

~an eyeglass prescription yet to be filled by December 31

~prayers for safe travel for all in the air and on the roads this weekend and next week

~and prayers for comfort for the lonely, sorrowful, and weary to know Emmanuel's love as they observe His nativity

linking today with Amy's "What I'm Holding" series

The Courage of Joseph

When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.

Matt. 1:24-25, ESV

Joseph, husband of Mary, receives little ink in the Gospels compared to his bride, adopted Son, or even Elizabeth and Zechariah. The understated narrative provides just enough detail for us to meet a man of courageous faith and obedience.

When Mary's pregnancy becomes known, he resolves to break the betrothal quietly, balancing the right action with the kind one. When God gives him different orders in a dream, he obeys and shares Mary's shame. At best, his marriage acknowledges his haste and passion; at worst, he accepts the reputation of cuckold. Even so, he lays down his right to a righteous reputation in order to do righteousness.

He lays down also his right to name his firstborn after himself, instead naming Him according to God's command in his dream. When he receives another divine dream, he packs the family up and leaves his homeland to preserve the Child's life.

What impresses me most about this unassuming man, however, is that he continues to say yes to obedience every day as he raises Jesus as his Son, even though he knows He isn't. Mary says one amazing yes, and the Holy Spirit overshadows her. So far as we know, her pregnancy from there is a normal pregnancy with normal hormones preparing her to love the Child of her womb. Joseph has no such biological support to his "long obedience in the same direction", to borrow Eugene Peterson's phrase.

He is, in other words, a good role model for most of the obedience required of us, as we seek to obey God in the humble duties of life.

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We at Wits' End do truly grieve with those in Connecticut in the aftermath of the unfathomable evil done to children and their teachers last week. Even so, God remains worthy of our thanks and praise for His good gifts:

Beautiful examples of faith and courage like Jehoshaphat and Joseph
All the children who were kept safe in their schools and homes last week
Normal b.p. almost every day   
Sister's car quest successful and worth the wait
Pleasant conversation with couple across from us at office Christmas party
All Christmas gifts purchased
UPS bringing them to our door
Pescado a la parilla at neighborhood Mexican place
Taking the Lord's supper
Seeing The Hobbit: an unexpected journey (2 thumbs up)
Last currently scheduled medical appointment of year Monday for me
Ebony back to 100% after GI infection
Good test results for friend
Surviving without caffeine
The light of Christ bright enough for grave darkness like that in Newtown Friday
Grace big enough to redeem that terrible grief
A weeping Savior
(Gratitude journal, #8376-8392)

Sharing with MondayMultitudes and Playdates with God