If It's Been a Hard Week

This prayer has been encouraging me this week, so I'm passing it along.

O God,
I bless thee for the happy moment
   when I first saw thy law fulfilled in Christ,
   wrath appeased, death destroyed, sin forgiven, my soul saved.

Ever since, Thou hast been faithful to me,
   daily have I proved the power of Jesus' blood,
   daily have I known the strength of the Spirit,
      my teacher, director, sanctifier.

I want no other rock to build upon than that I have,
   desire no other hope than that of gospel truth,
   need no other look than that which gazes on the cross.

Forgive me if I have tried to add anything to the one foundation,
                     if I have unconsciously relied upon my knowledge,
                         experience, deeds, and not seen them as filthy rags.
                     if I have attempted to complete what is perfect in Christ;
May my cry be always, Only Jesus! only Jesus!

In him is freedom from condemnation,
                fulness in his righteousness,
                eternal vitality in his given life,
                indissoluble union in fellowship with him;
In him I have all that I can hold;
     enlarge me to take in more.

If I backslide,
     let me like Peter weep bitterly and return to him;
If I am tempted, and have no wit,
     give me strength enough to trust in him;
If I am weak,
     may I faint upon his bosom of eternal love;
If in extremity,
     let me feel that he can deliver me;
If driven to the verge of hope and to the pit of despair,
     grant me grace to fall into his arms.
O God, hear me, do for me more than I ask, think, or dream.

 from  "The Life Look," Valley of Vision: A collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions, p.54

Yes, Lord, do for these readers more than they ask, think, or dream. Whatever their need today, may they find in Christ its fulfillment.

Return of the Bell Sheep

I wander like a lost sheep;

seek Your servant,

for I do not forget Your commands.

Psalm 119:176, HCSB

Needless to say, I am the bell sheep of the story.  Two decades ago, long before the current season of illness that is its own sort of breaking, the Lord brought me through a period of brokenness greater than any other I have yet known.  A mentor presented the bell sheep story to me in the midst of that pain, and the parable gave me hope that brokenness was not the end of the story.  By placing my brokenness in the midst of a larger narrative, the bell sheep comforted me:  this uncomfortable place of shattered dreams was part of God’s good plan and meant to prepare me for a hopeful future. The Biblical persons of Joseph, Moses, Job, and Peter also encouraged me as examples of those whose wills and strength needed breaking in preparation for the fulfillment of God’s call.

For part of that difficult season, He removed opportunities for formal ministry involvement. I fought this until the mentor who introduced me to the bell sheep also introduced me to the idea that even the generally “good” thing of Christian service can become an idol. Much of my “ministry” had been driven by the pride of accomplishing “great things for God,” whereas He designed me to be satisfied only in Himself.  In mercy, He pried my fingers off the lesser good so He could take my hand and lead me to the greater. While He did not delight in my pain, He delighted in me too much to allow me to continue unchecked in patterns which would do harm to myself and other.

In that dark valley, I learned the preciousness of the simple truth that “I am my Beloved’s, and He is mine.”  My greatest delight had previously been being useful to Him, but through brokenness He showed me in His Word how He can and does use anyone and anything, from Moses’ rod to Balaam’s donkey to Jonah’s great fish to a pagan king’s sleepless night; from Daniel’s unswerving obedience to Mordecai’s semi-obedience to Judas’s outright betrayal. More than my usefulness, He simply wants me.
Brokenness slowed me to the pace relationship requires, that I might grow in knowing Him who knows me and yet loves me. The pain drove me to go deeper into His Word and prayer, not just to learn about God or as good religious things to do but as means of knowing the infinite-personal God.
When the brokenness began to heal, it left me with a new ministry paradigm, although I often and sometimes badly slip back into the old ways. The shift was complex and the principles not universal or absolute, but here is an attempt to capture some of the distinctions I experienced:

·         My unbroken service was driven by the agenda of self (or flesh or ego); “belled” service seeks to be Spirit-led.

·         Unbroken service ultimately seeks glory for me; belled service seeks to exalt Christ, “ringing the bell” to draw other wandering sheep to the Shepherd.

·         Unbroken service acts independently out of strength; belled service acts dependently (on God) and out of redeemed weakness and broken strength.

·         Unbroken service operates out of pride and what I can do for God; belled service operates out of humility and what He wants to do for and through me. The youngest piano student sounds good playing a Steinway (the piano, not the dog), but only the greatest artist can bring forth beauty from an out-of-tune nursery school piano.  His choice of me, with all my sins and frailties, as one of His instruments produces more glory to Himself as the Master Musician. 

·         Unbroken service is works-oriented, seeking performance-based acceptance; belled service arises from grace, producing acceptance-based performance.

·         Unbroken service enslaves to the opinions and approval of others and to the burden of saving the lost; belled service is free (freer) to rest in God’s smile and plan and to stick close to Jesus the only Savior as I lift Him up.

·         Unbroken service is ambitious, always seeking more, bigger, greater; belled service seeks faithfulness where God leads me, even if it seems no one sees but Him.

·         Unbroken servants get uppity, wanders from the Lord, and falls short of God’s will and standard; belled servants get uppity, wanders from the Lord, and falls short of God’s will and standard. Brokenness accomplishes many things in the Christian, but perfection is not one of them.

As I aim to follow Him, listen to His Word, and yield to His working in my life, He does not fail to bring opportunities – in formal ministry or otherwise – to bear witness of that, to ring the bell of testimony to point to the Shepherd who saved me.  He often brings people across my path whose needs uniquely fit the pattern of my experience of Him, and whose hearts He has already prepared to respond.  As one former trustee of Dallas Theological Seminary phrased it, “Ministry is what we leave in our tracks as we follow the Lord.”  Serve Him?  Yes, I do desire to serve Him, but not as my primary pursuit.  Rather, as I pursue Him, He leads me to the good works He has prepared beforehand. Sometimes, as with our invitation to co-lead and then lead a youth Bible study, that looks very different from what I thought I wanted, but what He gives instead is always more blessed. Sometimes there’s also an ease to belled service, like drafting in a cycling event. 

Also, let me go on record that this is just a parable, although based on an actual shepherding practice. Like all parables, the comparison breaks down if the details are overly pressed. The bell sheep story is not meant to advocate inactivity or passivity in the Christian life but a different quality of activity. Neither is it intended to present a theory of God's role in all suffering; it is a story from the agricultural world intended to offer hope that brokenness is an opportunity to know Christ more deeply and that it is not the end of ministry but the beginning of a different sort of ministry.

Furthermore, God’s pattern of brokenness is as individual as a fingerprint. For every soul who undergoes an excruciating, bell-sheep breaking, there are no doubt many more who experience a chronic but perhaps less intense breaking, others whose lives are punctuated by breaks, and even some graced with compliant spirits who only need the initial “breaking” of conversion and from that point are tender to God’s gentlest discipline. May we all be so tender and pliable in His hands!

Wherever you are on the journey, may the Lord meet you there. If someone reading this has never yet become part of God’s flock, may the Lord open your heart to believe the good news of salvation through Christ. For those who are in the midst of the agony of brokenness, may you find comfort in the Shepherd’s nearness and good purpose for this pain. For those who have never known deep brokenness and may find this story troubling or frightening, I pray that God would reassure you with peace and move this concept to the back burner of your memories until and unless you need its reassurance at some future date. For those on the belled side of brokenness, may you remember the lessons of the pain, stay close to your Shepherd’s side, heeding His voice, and find many abundant opportunities to testify of Him wherever He leads you each day.

“Now may the God of peace, who brought up from the dead our Lord Jesus—the great Shepherd of the sheep—with the blood of the everlasting covenant, equip you with all that is good to do His will, working in us what is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen” (Hebrews 13:20-21, HCSB).

Resources for additional reflection:

• The Biblical accounts of Joseph, Moses, Job, and Peter
• A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23, W. Phillip Keller - for a Christian perspective on shepherding
• The Calvary Road, Roy and Revel Hession - for more details on living according to the Spirit vs. living according to the flesh. The Kindle edition of this one is free, as of July 12, 2011.
• The Prodigal God, Timothy Keller - reflections on the gospel from the familiar parable of Luke 15
• The Ragamuffin Gospel: Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out,
  Brennan Manning - on walking humbly before God and receiving all as grace from His hand
• He That Is Spiritual, Lewis Sperry Chafer - more on walking according to the Spirit instead of according to the flesh. (This one is also less than a dollar in the Kindle edition.)
• No Little People, Francis Schaeffer - a collection of sermons by one of the twentieth century's great Christian thinkers. The title sermon looks at bell sheep ministry ideas in a sheepless framework.

With love and gratitude for you Crumbles,

Your fellow sheep tinuviel

Arrival Day

Three years ago today, Ebony joined our family. After Somo died around Memorial Day 2008, Steinway and Allen were lonely. For at least a week, Steinway would sit on the mat staring at the front door as though waiting for his buddy to return from a walk. Allen missed his fuzz therapist and personal trainer. I missed him, too, but I was still somewhat shell-shocked from his final days and not as quick to look for his successor. Whenever the time came to adopt another, I was already asking God for a healthy dog who would be a good and loving companion for us both.

As soon as Allen had returned from a mission trip to Central America, however, the search commenced. We scavenged petfinder.com for candidates and kept detailed bookmark folders of our favorites. We considered Chiweenies (Chihuahua-dachshund mixes), dachshunds of all varieties, terrier and beagle mixes, and we drove around town meeting and greeting a few but without agreement.

Finally we saw a dachshund mix named Rex. The description said he was super-sized; as it turned out, he was around 35 pounds, considerably bigger than Somo or Steinway or the other pint-sized candidates. After a little research into the shelter where he was living and other possibilities there, we planned an evening visit.

The volunteer couldn't find him at first. A black dog pressed against the back wall of his crate on the bottom of double-decker kennels proved well nigh invisible. Checking and double-checking the tags against the print-out we'd brought, she finally found him and was astonished she hadn't met him before in his four-month residence.

She led him out to the courtyard and handed him off to us. He was tentative at first but quickly warmed up to the Milk-Bones we had brought along.

We interviewed a couple of other candidates. The other strong possibility was a brown, Benji-like terrier mix with a very outgoing personality.

After talking the decision over at home, praying together, and "sleeping on it," we decided on Rex the super-dachshund. Well, actually, Allen recognized I was smitten and honored my preference.

The next day, July 11, 2008, I brought Rex home while Allen was at work.

No, he wasn't in trouble already. The shelter advised using the crate for housetraining him.

Also, we decided he would be safer there until Steinway decided he was a friendly.

We renamed him Ebony. Not only did he ably fill the roles of buddy for Steinway, fuzz therapist for Allen, and personal trainer extraordinaire for both of us, he has also become our court jester on many needful occasions.

Ebony also inspired one of the very first blog posts here, the poem "Sermon on the Sofa."

Thanks be to God today
~for all His good gifts, including family and pets
~for our three dogs, each so distinctive and loved
~for a happy, healthy too-smart-for-his-own-good Ebony dog
~for a short work week for Allen last week
~for his industry spending time off by painting the outside of our house (still a work in progress)
~for excellent customer service with a faulty grocery item
~for a broken garage door
~for our amazing garage door service provider (If you live on the north side of Dallas and need a referral, please e-mail me.)
~for one minor problem bringing him out to our house in time to discover the spring was about to break, too
~for lunch with a new friend after many unsuccessful attempts
~for the fellowship of fellow sufferers
~for dinner out with my beloved
~for grilled salmon (see above)
~for summer fruit
~for pink roses and yellow orchids on the table
~for cloud cover taking the edge of a hot day
~for good news from a distant friend
~for a new, low-risk supplement to try to increase my bone density
~for blood pressure on the decrease
(from the gratitude list, #801-19)


Giving thanks to God our Father with the community at Ann's...

The Parable of the Bell Sheep

Let me hear joy and gladness;

let the bones You have crushed rejoice.

(Psalm 51:8, HCSB)

A mentor introduced me to the following idea almost two decades ago. W. Phillip Keller's classic books A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23 and A Shepherd Looks at the Good Shepherd inspired her illustration. The image has reemerged in my thinking in multiple circumstances recently, so the time seemed right to share my storification of it with you.


            Once upon a time, a good, wise, loving Shepherd bought a foolish and bedraggled little sheep to save her from the slaughterhouse her wicked former owner intended for her.  Finding her in dangerous woods, He drew her to Himself, quickly winning her love and obedience by His tender care.

After awhile, though, she grew tired of simply following the Shepherd and enjoying His presence and began to wander about in search of opportunities to help and serve her Master.  Eagerly, she would trot off in search of imperiled sheep who had gotten lost or hurt.  Unfortunately, she often ended up lost, too, in the attempt to bring them back.  She never minded her trials, since through them He found other lost sheep, as well.  More than once, she herself was wounded by wolves or bears (or her own foolhardiness) attempting to rescue other wounded woolies.  Never complaining, she wore her war-wounds proudly as emblems of her dedicated service.

Without fail, the Shepherd rescued her and brought her back, but the wayward, well-intentioned little sheep grieved Him.  His desire was for her more than her wearing herself out in effort to please Him, and His greatest delight was in having her follow close by His side. Furthermore, her striving endangered herself and others. Since she had never taken the time truly to know Him, she remained ignorant of His sorrow. When she persisted in pursuing her own way, in His goodness, He finally stopped her wandering and saved many sheepish lives by breaking one of her legs, albeit with tears in his own eyes.

Bleating in pain and astonishment, she kicked and bit and refused His kind overtures of comfort.  Eventually, however, she grew too exhausted from the struggle to fight anymore.  In her silent, helpless weariness, He bound up her wounds and cradled her tenderly, carrying her in His arms until her leg healed and she could walk again.

As she recovered, she learned to know the Shepherd’s heartbeat.  She grew to love the mere pleasure of His nearness.  Far greater than the superficial adrenaline rush of her former labors, her greatest joy became simply that of belonging to Him.

When her leg healed, and the Shepherd set her down to walk again, she no longer desired to wander from His side.  In recognition of the change and as a reminder of her own brokenness, her Shepherd placed a bell around her neck.  This way as she followed close by Him, the bell continually testified to the presence of her Good Shepherd.  Wandering sheep often heard the bell and followed its ring back to His side.  Wounded or cast sheep heard His approach and bleated for help, and the bell sheep would trot along beside Him, ringing the good news that helps was on its way, as He went to their rescue.

This “service” proved far more satisfying, as the glory all went to the goodness of her Shepherd.  Moreover, He used her to accomplish His work without her ever leaving His side.  While she never wanted to repeat the brokenness, she would never have traded the lessons learned through it.  She finally discovered her Shepherd was all she needed when He was all she had, and the pain of the process paled in the beauty of His preciousness.

The LORD is near the brokenhearted; He saves those crushed in spirit.

(Psalm 34:18, HCSB)

A Prayer on Our Nation's Birthday

First of all, then, I urge that petitions, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for everyone, for kings and all those who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity. This is good, and it pleases God our Savior, who wants everyone to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth (1 Timothy 2:1-4, HCSB).


King of heaven,
Lord of lords,
Ruler of princes,
Thank You for this land of my earthly pilgrimage;
For the faithful Christians among the founders of our nation;
For the multitudes, from colonial days to the present, who have sought and found freedom here to worship You openly;
For that freedom to gather in Your name without fear of police raids, imprisonment, or execution;
For Your protection of this land and its people.

Even so, despite the rich blessings You have given us, we are a nation of sinners, I myself at the head of the line.
Have mercy on us, for the sake of Christ,
For trusting in human wisdom, riches, and might instead of in You,
For cherishing political independence more than spiritual dependence,
For seeking the expedient more than the obedient,
For the oppression of the few by the many,
For failing to live within the abundant means You have provided.

Have mercy on me, Lord, for my sad neglect of Your command to pray for rulers and all who are in authority.
I am quicker to complain than to intercede; forgive me.
If we lack Daniels in our government because we have not asked, Lord,
I ask You now, for Your name's sake:
Raise up faithful Christian men and women to lead this nation, the nations of the world.
Equip them with courage to make hard choices
And integrity to serve You by serving this land.
Remind Your people, including me,
To ask and ask and ask again.

Thank You, Father, for the encouraging examples of spiritual revival in our history.
Would You do it again in this generation?
Revive me, Lord God,
My family,
My neighborhood,
My city,
My state,
This nation,
Your church among all peoples.

May Your kingdom come,
Your will be done on earth
As it is in heaven,
In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Amen.


(Gratitude list #739-744 woven into the prayer)


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