Does This Cell Phone Make Me Look Fat?

I hope you enjoy the following transcription of a phone conversation with my sister Terza's oldest son. 

Aunt T: So how tall are you boys this year?

[Grandpa gives me the growth chart stats.]

Aunt T: Wow! Only 12 more inches, and you'll catch me. You're getting so tall!!

Thunder [nephew, age 7 3/4]: I don't want to be as tall as you. I want things to stay just like they are right now.

Aunt T: You think that now, but you won't always. You'll grow tall like your Mama and Daddy, and before long you'll be the ones giving me piggy-back rides.
[giggles in the background as Rocky and the Thunder Twins repeat that last idea to each other]

Thunder: Well, one thing's for sure: I'll never be heavier than you.
[Grandpa guffawing and slapping his leg. Auntie coughing in disbelief.]

Aunt T: Actually, um, there aren't very many grown-up men heavier than me.

Grandpa: Once you start really doing sports, you'll get big strong muscles and be heavier than you are now. Heavier doesn't mean fat though.

Thunder: No, I don't like sports. I'm pretty sure I'll never be heavier than her.


In fairness to Thunder, you should also know what he said the next time we spoke on the telephone:

Thunder: Aunt T, I have 2 things I really need to tell you.

Aunt T: Really? Great! I'm all ears.

Thunder: Okay, the first thing is that I lost three teeth.

Aunt T: Three all at once?? Uh-oh, did one of your brothers punch you in the face?

Thunder: Noooo. They just came out. Well, Daddy kind of helped me with one of them, but nobody hit me.

Aunt T: That's good. What did the tooth fairy do, seeing three teeth at the same time? Did she pay you for all of them?

Thunder: Yep. All three. But there's another thing I really need to tell you.

Aunt T: I remember. What's this other thing?

Thunder: I wanted to tell you that those hats you made us for Christmas really do come in handy in this cold weather we're having.

Said Christmas hat

Aunt T: I'm so glad to hear it! This is good hat weather, isn't it? Have you worn it to school?

Thunder: Noooo, I don't think I should wear it to school because it might get lost. But I wear it to sleep in!

Aunt T: That sounds smart about not wearing it to school. I'm just glad you like it and it keeps you warm. I loved making it for you.

Thunder: Well, I just wanted to tell you that because I thought it would make you feel good.

Aunt T: Mission accomplished. Thank you.


The next time I saw him and his brothers in person, he wrote me this note:

A blessed Valentine's Day to you, Crumbles. To paraphrase a wise boy, I hope you are feeling good, and wherever you are remember that God loves you wherever you are.