Thursday, May 10, 2012

Pardon Our Mess

New life is awww-inspiring.
from Allen's phone



A nutria family feasting on gifts of bread scraps
Do you see the baby opossum?

How about now?



New life blooms bright and beautiful.





New life can make the mouth water.




By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.
Hebrews 11:8-10, NIV1984


And sometimes, new life can be messy.


We love our big live oak in front of the house. It shades the southern side of the house from the harsh Texas sun, and we think it's beautiful.

In the spring, however, when the daffodils raise their trumpets in the park and the wisteria perfumes the end of the block, the live oak litters street, driveway, sidewalk, lawn, and garden beds with leaves. Live oaks don't shed their foliage in the autumn but remain green all winter long. When the days again begin to lengthen, the fresh new leaves with their boisterous brighter green push the old spent ones unceremoniously off the branches.

For weeks, we wade through leaves coming and going from the mailbox. They act like sponges along the curb, soaking up rainfall and sometimes clogging the storm drains. My grandmother sweeps her driveway daily, vigilantly, during this season, but Allen considers it an exercise in futility until all the displaced leaves have fallen.

All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own.  If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.
Hebrews 11:13-16, NIV1984

About the time that we breathe a sigh of relief that we can walk to the mailbox without leaves crunching underfoot, the next assault starts: the pollen.

Live oaks drop pollen in clusters attached to little threads. We used to call them pollen caterpillars. My grandmother calls them threads. When they are fresh, the pollen clusters bathe everything (jackets, dogs, cars, mailboxes, joggers) in sticky yellow-green dust. Then the clusters turn brown as in the photo above. This lasts another month before it's all completely cleared from roof, lawn, and garden bed.

The pollen storm is not my favorite thing. I have tried to combat it by frequent shaking off of the doormats. I have even resorted to spreading oversized swim towels just inside the doors to capture some of the mess off paws and shoes before it gets ground into the carpet. One day as I was muttering to myself about the extra work, the Lord tapped me on the shoulder with the memory of more than one blog read this spring about trees that had died in the severe drought and heat last year. Big, mature trees older than the houses on the property had perished. Acres burned in the wildfires. Our neighbors lost a tall tree from their backyard, and the chainsaws droned like bagpipes at a funeral all that day.

I realized in that moment that the leaf and pollen mess was one more sacrifice of thanksgiving. The mess meant our tree had survived the fiercest drought of its life to shield us for another summer. The blanket of debris I was fighting was a blanket of growth and new life.

These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.
Hebrews 11:39-40, NIV1984

We live in an atmosphere of change at Wits' End these days.  Some of the transitions are pleasant; some are harder; most are messy in some form or fashion. My natural response is to grumble and complain about the changes and the disorder they bring. I like stability and routine and often  dig in my heels and throw a tantrum take an adversarial stance toward anything that disrupts that. (To keep things interesting, God gave me a missionary-kid husband whose very comfort zone is change. That's not intended as sarcasm but as an acknowledgement that I need balance which God has providentially given.)

Annual thinning of the branches, part one

As with the live oak, so it is with our life in this world. New life means change. Growth means change. Transformation requires change. Anyone with a new baby or puppy in the house or anyone in the process of a move, knows all too well that change often means mess and disorder for a while. Other times the mess is intangible but no less real: disrupted relationships, ingrained habits of thought or action which no longer suit. If I want to be conformed to the image of Christ, I must let His Spirit push off the habits of the old self and produce new fruit in me. If I want to live in Him, I must let go of all that is not of Him. If I want to bear abundant, lasting fruit in Him, He will prune away apparently good, healthy things which detract from His core purpose. If I want to follow Christ, I must change. And change is messy.

Change is also a gift. It corrects my tendency to seek security, a stable refuge, and permanence in the world I see. Such a desire is not bad in itself, just misdirected. A quote from Sheldon Vanauken inside my kitchen cabinets reminds me of this continuous need of redirection: "God gives many gifts, but never permanence. That we must seek in His arms."

The mess of change pulls out the crutches I'm tempted to lean on instead of the Everlasting God. Transition reminds me that "The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms" (Deut. 33:27). From everlasting to everlasting, He is God, and there is no other (Ps. 90:2). One of His names from the Hebrew Scriptures is El Olam, Everlasting God. Such a God is my sure safe place, my stability in an unstable world.


Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, 
let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe.
Hebrews 12:28, NIV1984


This God does intend for His people a kingdom that cannot be shaken, a better country, a heavenly one. Without the changes and transitions that persist in spite of my best efforts, I might think this is all there is. I might grow to like this lesser country so well I would forget the glory to come. Glory is coming, friends. The glory of that unshakable kingdom is just around the corner. Let's together tether our hopes to that certainty when the mess of new life threatens to get the better of us. Let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe.



Sharing with Laura:

Monday, May 7, 2012

Mercies Like Manna

This morning I took a walk in the garden with the Lord in the less hot cool of the day. It began as a photo-gathering errand, but the words of St. Francis' hymn transformed it, and suddenly I was gathering mercies like manna instead, watching and listening to the Creation's praise of its Maker.

God's mercies do fall like manna, fresh every day, settling over me while I sleep, awaiting me with the coffee before I even set one foot in the kitchen. Every day's differ, yet their common source binds them together in unity.

"The Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning" (James 1:17) ensures plenty of grace for today. Like the manna He fed the Israelites on their pilgrimage, our daily bread arrives right on time, plentiful for all of us, adequate for the day. There's no need to hoard in fear for tomorrow (not that I haven't tried) ; there will be more to be had in the morning.

Even the Israelites were invited to store up one omer of manna in the ark beneath the mercy seat before the Lord. Their forgetful hearts needed that souvenir of four decades of wilderness provision, four decades of clothes and shoes not wearing out, four decades of sustenance for millions of people, a nation in migration.

They still forgot, and so do I, but here nonetheless is my portion of manna, stored up in the cloud instead of the tabernacle, a memorial of this week's mercies presented back to the Lord who gave them.

5836. A few monarchs swooping through the plumbago

5837. That plumbago just blooming out, struggling to keep up with the butterflies

5838. The young birds learning how to use the feeder

5839. A handsome new visitor we haven't yet named

5840. A grey catbird foraging in the rose garden (Eating pillbugs? That would be 5840 1/2.)


5841. Last year's Easter lily blooming in the garden while Eastertide still remains

5842. Fragrant lavender happier than usual this year
 5843. Two kinds of tomatoes waiting to ripen


5844. Blackberries starting to turn

5845. Second-year hollyhocks towering above the rest of the garden

5845. Eyes to see the whole spectrum of colors
5846. Noticing new things (fruit?) about an old plant (Mexican yucca, Allen says)


5847. The dill as big as it's ever been, offering plenty of food and shelter for the caterpillars yet to come

5848. Our neighbor's Rose of Sharon full of crepe paper blooms
5849. The gentleness of the morning light
5850. Receiving text message love from vacationing friends and family
5851. Sister's finals over and done for the semester
5852. Lunch with my parents on a weekday
5853. The installation of our new pastor
5854. A slow Sunday afternoon
5855. Husband happy to head off for work on a Monday morning
5856. Beginning to learn the new schedule
5857. New insurance card arriving in the mail
5858. Use of a second car while my parents travel
5859. Reminders of the Good Shepherd, the Great Shepherd, throughout the Sunday worship service
5860. Hands cooperating for a few minutes at the piano this morning
5861. This beautiful forgotten verse of a familiar hymn:
And all ye men of tender heart,
Forgiving others, take your part,
O sing ye! Alleluia!
Ye who long pain and sorrow bear,
Praise God and on Him cast your care,
O praise Him! O praise Him!
Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia!

For feed and email readers who would like to leave a comment, please click here to view the crumbs from His table blog on the Web.

Praising Him with friends Ann, Laura, and Jen:






Thursday, May 3, 2012

A Confession

Our print of Rembrandt's The Return of the Prodigal Son

O Lord,...
When thou wouldst guide me I control myself,
When thou wouldst be sovereign I rule myself.
When thou wouldst take care of me I suffice myself.
When I should depend on thy providings I supply myself,
When I should submit to thy providence I follow my will,
When I should study, love, honour, trust thee, I serve myself;
I fault and correct thy laws to suit myself,
Instead of thee I look to man's approbation,
    and am by nature an idolater.
Lord, it is my chief design to bring my heart back to thee.
Convince me that I cannot be my own god, or make myself happy,
    nor my own Christ to restore my joy,
    nor my own Spirit to teach, guide, rule me.
Help me to see that grace does this by providential affliction....
Then take me to the cross and leave me there.
~from "Man a Nothing," Valley of Vision, p. 91

Most Holy Father, the first commandment is to love You with everything: all my heart, all my soul, all my mind, all my strength, but even after decades of receiving Your faithful love, I still behave all too often as though my wisdom and providence are better than Yours. Thank You for revealing my idolatry of self.

Can it be that the real reason I do not pray as I ought but am so easily distracted by chores or a dry mouth or growling tummy or chiming electronics is because I do not esteem prayer as the most important work of the day, but too often as a task to check off before I get on with the real work? Forgive me, Lord. Change me. Strengthen me to bear the answer.

Thank You for the great mercy of Your Spirit and Word to point out where I go astray, to lead me back to the path of righteousness, to give me the desire to walk there in the first place. Thank You for the saving life of Christ, whose death is all the propitiation this sinner can ever need. Thank You for bringing me back again to the cross. May it mark all my thoughts, words, intentions, and actions today with the sign that I am Yours, and You are mine.

In the name of the Great High Priest, who ever lives and intercedes for His people, I offer this prayer. Amen.

For further meditation, see "A Blogger's Prayer" at A Holy Experience, by Ann Voskamp

Monday, April 30, 2012

A Monday Prayer from Psalm 42




Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?

Why? The waves of change and paperwork and milestones and appointments breaking over me have overwhelmed. It's a lot to take in, Lord, even though so much of it is good, and I'm not sure where even to begin. The intense emotions of goodbyes and hellos, aging and growing, wounding and healing, have caught me off guard and knocked me off balance.


Deep calls to deep at the roar of Your waterfalls;
all Your breakers and Your waves have gone over me.

Your breakers, Your waves. I'm still off balance, but since they're Yours, they are blessed. In Your hands they can buoy, not break. Teach me to surf them and not be plowed down by them?


By day the LORD commands His steadfast love,
and at night His song is with me,
a prayer to the God of my life.

The Puritan quoted in a book I read last week exhorted Christ's people to rely on God's promises. Here is one for today. Thank You, Lord, for commanding Your steadfast love. Thank You for the lullabies you sing with me at night. You are the God of my life. Your steadfast love is better than stability any day.


Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him,
my salvation and my God.

Thank You, Lord. You are my hope. You are my praise. You are my salvation. You are my God.


Thank You for your mercies this past week to encourage me to trust You for fresh mercy this day:
a good report from the sinus doctor
Your Spirit moving a friend to check on me on a hard day
attending Dad's retirement lunch with Mom, sisters, and brother-in-law
his idea for us to wear our international clothes
feeling loved in my ivory silk tailored by our fellow servants in V--tnam as a wedding gift
that it still fits despite pounds gained
hearing such accolades, things we already knew about him but enjoyed others recognizing too
his excitement over new freedom to serve You
lots of good memories of working alongside him and college study days at his office
Mom's fall and head injury proved to be mild concussion and nothing worse
Your sovereignty
sharing testimonies in comments
Allen's friends celebrating him in his last week at the job he's held the past 5 years
celebration meals
house helper's encouragement
unexpected gift in post
grace for a computer mistake
bees and butterflies in abundance
encouragement from the (in)RL Web conference
finding my missing memory verse spiral
Allen's excitement for his first day on his new job
Dad's excitement for his last day in the computer business
opportunity to go to the side of a friend whose dog passed away this morning 
comfort received, comfort shared
(Joy Dare #5723-5746)





Friday, April 27, 2012

(in)RL This Weekend


In case you didn't know, the ladies at the (in)courage blog have put together a Web-based conference to offer Christian encouragement to women at a very low cost. You don't even need to leave home to attend. No childcare, what-to-wear dilemma, packing bags, or airport security required.

Today's material streams again at 5 pm and 8 pm (CDT), and the rest is available at viewers' convenience for 48 hours beginning at midnight tonight (or technically Saturday morning). It's not too late to register here:  http://www.inrl.us/index.php. If community, friendship, and choosing joy are areas you struggle with at all, today's session will be time well spent. (Snacks, tea/coffee, and tissues recommended.)